Ladies and gentlemen you are about to get a glimpse, behind the scenes, at the high powered decision making process of a top-flight business corporation—in action at the October company meeting held at Village Inn. The business agenda was wide ranging but generally concerned our ‘Stories Through the Ages’ short story contest. In attendance three Baby Boomers and one Junior Partner who is a college student.
Managing Partner (JVP) gaveled the meeting to order and the first item of business was who was paying for breakfast. When JVP (reluctantly) announced that there was enough money in the company treasury to pay the bill with the company credit card, I opted for the VIB breakfast—bacon and eggs with sausage links and a waffle. DLP scoffed at me and asked if I wasn’t worried about clogged arteries. He then said that the strawberry crepes looked good but ordered the biscuits and gravy (I refrained from any snide artery comments). ECP went with the strawberry crepes. JVP had bacon and eggs.
More coffee and juice was arranged and the meeting was off and rolling with everyone contributing and visions of success and wealth reverberating throughout the meeting hall (restaurant).
One thing I want to point out is that JVP is goal oriented and tries to keep the meeting on track but she forgets that I am the oldest and my ideas should count more. I’m not complaining but just pointing out the unfairness of it all.
The first agenda item was to discuss book sales. DLP said that he wanted to add an order form with all books shipped so people would be able to fill it out and mail it in with a check. Here is a transcript of the conversation:
ECP – If we are mailing them a book, then they already have a book–Why do they need an order form?
DLP – So they can order more books.
ECNP – “Why can’t people just go to the website to order?”
DLP – “What’s a website?”
The food came. DLP said, “Where are my strawberry crepes?”
ECP – “You didn’t order the crepes you only admired them in the picture. We are trying to be a ‘green’ company and we shouldn’t use paper order forms.
DLP – “I don’t want to be a green company I want to be a profitable company. Old people don’t want to order things on the computer they want to fill out an order form and send it in with a check.
ECP – “Why do we need to send one, why can’t they download one from the website?”
DLP – “When I buy things I just want to fill out a form and write a check. I don’t want to go to a website.”
I was drinking my coffee and wishing I had my hearing aids. JVP was turning red and gritting her teeth. Finally she couldn’t take it anymore and said, “Ok, I will make some order forms and send one with each book. Now can we get back to the agenda?”
I asked for more coffee.
DLP – (Ignoring JVP) said, “In fact, we need to send 10 order forms with each order.”
ECP – “I don’t understand why you want to send more than one order form. Why can’t you just order 5 books, or whatever, using one order form?”
DLP – “What if your wife sent in an order and then you suddenly remembered that you forgot to get one for great Aunt Ethel. You’d say, ‘where the hell is that order form?’ and your wife would fess up that she used it and now what are you gonna do?”
ECP: “Download one from the website.”
DLP: In a loud voice, “They don’t want to go to a website. Anyway, their printer doesn’t work.”
HEP: “Who are ‘they’ again?
JVP: “Ok, forget about all of that, we haven’t gotten anything accomplished”
DLP: “Are you gonna eat that strawberry crepe?”
ECP: “I’m a slow eater. Yes I am going to eat it.”
JVP: “We need to concentrate on the business at hand.”
HEP: “We’re playing golf in 30 minutes. I better get on the road.”
JVP: “We still have a lot of action items.”
HEP: “Let’s do it by email. That way we won’t argue.”
DLP: “I don’t want to use email—too impersonal–let’s do it by phone.”
ECP: “Email is much more efficient because Mom wants everyone to stay on track.”
DLP: “You young people have lost your communication skills.”
ECP: “Could I get my strawberry crepe to go, please.”
JVP: “Meeting adjourned.”
Anyway, I think that’s pretty close to how the meeting went, I didn’t have my hearing aids. So, now when you order a book, expect to get an order form sent with it. That way you will not need to go to the website to order more. You will just need to remember where you put the damn