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Stories and Authors in College Edition 2018

Living Springs Publishers is proud to announce the winners and finalists whose stories will appear in Stories Through The Ages College  Edition 2018:

 Isabelle Mongeau  $500 first prize winner with “On Front Lawns“. Isabelle attends Emory University.

JQ Salazar $200 second prize winner with “Peeled Back, and Lifted“. JQ attends the University of Colorado Denver

Amanda Hemphill $100 third prize winner with “Laws of the Living House“. Amanda attends Eastern Shore Community College.

and the finalists

Dorian T. Chase  with “Vampires Kiss“. Dorian  attends Wright State University.

Kelly Doyle  with “A Small Town“. Kelly attends Emory University.

Teresa Juarez  with “The Cottage by the River“. Teresa  attends the University of Colorado Denver.

Mary M. Latham with “Order of the Space Zombies “. Mary attends Southern Illinois University of Carbondale.

Nina Moldawsky with “One Million Names for Cinderella“. Nina attends Columbia College Chicago.

Emily Porter with “Precognition“.  Emily attends Hofstra University .

Sierra Saykeo  with “From the Window of a Heart Hospital in Clovis“. Sierra attends Guilford College.

Fiona Shampine  with “Death Comes For All Things“. Fiona attends Columbia College Chicago.

Nia Tipton with “Fire and Ice“. Nia attends Columbia College Chicago.

Sarah Vita with “Life in Color“. Sarah attends Merrimack College.

Connor J. Walcott with “Critical-Nonconformity“. Connor attends Florida Atlantic University.

Cassandra Winnie with “The Music Box of Souls“. Cassandra attends Caldwell University.

Jamie Sharon Wright with “Deep Purple“. Jamie attends Colorado State University.

Stories Through The Ages

There is still time to submit your story for  “Stories Through The Ages Baby Boomers Plus 2018”. Submissions close June 15.

We are excited that the winners for “Stories Through The Ages College Edition 2018″ have been chosen and notified. There were a lot of great entries and it was hard to pick the stories to include in the book. We will be announcing the names and stories on our website and Facebook page soon.

Make sure you check out our new Legacy page.

“The Memory of you” by Henry E. Peavler

”Whose gonna play this old piano
After I’m not here.
Whose gonna play these sad songs to ya
Cause your eyes to fill with tears.”

Ah, Jerry Lee Lewis, The Killer, One of a kind. I hope his memory never dies, flaws and all he’s one of my favorites. Just like the singers from my mom’s generation—Frank Sinatra, Perry Como and Doris Day. And from my grandmother’s generation, Mamie Smith, Ethel Waters and Al Jolson. My goodness that man could sing. I still listen to Al, but it won’t be long before the memories have faded away completely, like full service gas stations. You’d better get the recollections down on paper or everyone will forget or never know in the first place—NO, I don’t mean the memory of Jerry Lee, I mean the memory of you!

Boulder, Colorado, July 21, 1969 a date of stupendous importance. Neil Armstrong stepped down the lunar ladder onto the surface of the moon ‘One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind’. I watched it from a rundown shack up past two mile canyon--must have been 20 of us long-haired flower children gathered around an old Magnavox secreting a snowy blur of a picture that could have been filmed in a warehouse in Burbank for all I know. “One small step….” But that wasn’t the stupendous part--that occurred earlier when I had my first toke on a joint passed ceremoniously back and forth with Janet Patron who captured my heart in a haze of smoke and the witnessing of history. The secrets of life were revealed to me with crystal clarity, the lights of Boulder shimmering below that airless cathedral of my youth—as soon as the show was over I professed my undying love to Janet then spent the rest of the evening trying to disentangle myself from the lizard lock her boyfriend put on me until I cried ‘uncle’ and swore never to molest her again or even come near her--scouts honor.

The humiliation was complete later that night when Rich told me that there wasn’t any weed it was just oregano that I smoked—I was high on a condiment. They laughed at me for years after, “Remember that night up at Rich’s place when you got high smoking oregano?”

Yeah, I remember, thanks for the memories.

Shouldn’t these precious moments be recorded and left for all eternity for our loved ones. Maybe choose a different memory but you get the idea.

I know they don’t give a damn now but someday, after we’re gone, they may be combing through an old box of scrapbooks and find that story and say “Good God Almighty, great uncle Hank got high on oregano and fell in love with some lady during the first moon landing.” That’s history right there. You don’t want to let it slip away never to be remembered by anyone again.

Bennett, Colorado, November 22, 1963. The news spread like the plague, President Kennedy had been shot. We were devastated and seriously thought that the end was nigh. Not just the end of life as we knew it but the end of the world. Rumors were flying, the Russians had launched the A Bomb, Castro was invading Miami. We were ducking under our desks and praying for deliverance.

Don and I took it upon ourselves to lower the flag to half-staff. I don’t remember the thought process but somehow, in our addled adolescent minds, we felt it was incumbent upon us to do so. Maybe it was because it was noon and we were walking to lunch and happened to be standing nearby when we heard the news. Looming above us was the gloomy old elementary school, shrouded in mist like a haunted specter from a bad horror movie. One of the upper windows flew open and the new fourth grade teacher screamed at us, “What the hell are you doing, I’m a Veteran.” Don and I stopped, embarrassed that we didn’t know that only veterans could lower the flag to half-staff.

“The man isn’t even in his grave,” he shouted. “Get the hell back to class you assholes.” And he slammed the window down leaving us there scarred to death, the flag snapping in the breeze and the sound of the ropes banging against the flag pole, a sound that, to this day, summons a melancholy feeling in my soul that almost reduces me to tears. The truth is that our lives did change—we just didn’t know it yet.

Where were you when it happened? Write it down, leave the memory for your family. Someday someone will want to know.

Hijacked and Piggybacked

If you order “Stories Through The Ages Baby Boomers Plus 2018” and receive “The Devil in the White City” in addition to notifying Amazon, please let us know.

Putting a book for sale on Amazon is usually fairly painless  - not so for Baby Boomers Plus 2018! After completing the process to make it available and receiving the Amazon ASIN number I went to Amazon to verify the listing. I searched using the number. Lo and behold Baby Boomer Plus displayed, but a book called “The Devil in the White City” also displayed. The ASIN is supposed to be unique, so this wasn’t good. I contacted support, asking what was going on. My inquiry was immediately escalated. I got a response back that they didn’t know how this happened and would try to figure it out. I really didn’t care how it happened – I just wanted it fixed.  They eventually assigned Baby Boomers a unique number, but the damage was done. In Amazon’s mind, memory or whatever Amazon has, the two books are the same.

“The Devil in the White City” is a popular book, which is good and bad for Baby Boomers. The good is that it is getting exposure that it normally wouldn’t. The bad is that the scammers have come out of the woodwork. There are now over 100 sellers who have piggybacked on our listing with Used, New and even Collectible books to sell. The listing has been hijacked twice –Living Springs Publishers was replaced as the seller and any book sales credited to the hijacker.  Not only that, they sent the customer involved “The Devil in the White City” instead of Baby Boomers Plus. There are actually videos online that tell people how to hijack other seller’s listings.

What I have learned:

We need to check our Amazon listings daily. A Living Springs Publishers listing that has:

Ships from and sold by Amazon.com

has not been hijacked.

A  listing that has:

Sold by “Some company” and fulfilled by Amazon

has been hijacked.

It makes me wonder, when shopping on Amazon – who am I really buying from.  –Jacqueline Veryle Peavler

Undertoad by Henry E. Peavler (Part 2)

I can float for a long time, surely someone will see me. Larry and Diane are in the palapa reading. Don’t they realize I’m in trouble, haven’t they missed me yet? I can’t even see the palapa, how far have I floated, how long have I been out here? At least twenty minutes.

I panic again, oh my God, swim hard for shore, harder, oh Lord. I’m wearing myself out. I’ll pray; oh, you hypocrite, I’ll pray anyway, it can’t hurt. Lord, please help me, I promise I will believe in you and not be a sinner. I’m not that bad a sinner anyway. Oh Christ, what a double-dealer I am. What’s the matter with me, don’t give up, just keep floating, block negative thoughts and think positive. I’m positive the sun is burning my face; I’m positive that I wish I had my sunglasses; I’m positive I am going to die.

Think logically, once Larry figures out I’m missing he’ll go into the restaurant, raise a commotion and they’ll call the Salvavidas. Then they’ll find a boat or Jet Ski and come find me; that’s plausible. I’m rested again, I’ll try and break free, swim hard, wait for a wave to help me toward shore. Swim now, harder, Go, Go.

Jesus Christ! I’m getting further away from shore. Don’t fight it, roll over and float again, and breathe, for God’s sake; don’t panic. I’m not dying, I haven’t heard God’s voice or seen any Angels, my life hasn’t flashed before my eyes; this isn’t dying. I’m just in danger of dying, in grave danger. Is there any other kind? Ha, ha! That’s good, that’s the ticket. I’ll think of famous quotes and float on my back, I can float forever.

The sun is incredibly hot and the atmosphere is bright, surreal like a high plains winter freeze when the air is so frigid that that it looks white, but the temperature is 100. Even the hotels look white, blanco, but it’s not winter, I think I am hallucinating. I feel sick, Mother always said, “Never go swimming until an hour after you eat or you’ll get cramps and drown.” It wasn’t 30 minutes ago that I ate and now I am going to drown, you should never argue with a known saying.

“It’s not unheard of for a sceptic or agnostic to think in religious terms,” my professor 50 years ago said, and he was a renowned sceptic, agnostic and atheist and expert on all religions; he was an ordained minister and an arrogant bastard. There were 50 people in the class, I came in late one time and he called me out in front of everyone, told me I was an inconsiderate buffoon. I wasn’t sure what he meant, I assumed it was akin to being a religious heathen. Is this what they mean by my life flashing before my eyes? I had forgotten about that embarrassing episode.

Maybe I should look to sea instead of the shore, think outside the box. I’m past the big waves so wait for a swell and when I’m at the top look for a fishing boat; they should be returning to take their catch to the market. Nothing there, and now I grow weary, my muscles are starting to fatigue and I’ve swallowed so much salt water. Suddenly I see the reality, I see where this is headed and it isn’t good. I think of my children and hate the thought of them being told that I was lost at sea, presumed drowned, isn’t that how the papers describe it?

I should be better prepared for this, maybe if I were raised according to the Quran or Buddhism or if I were a Hindu or even a Catholic; Presbyterian is what I am and it seems so inadequate now. I went to bible study every week, Church on Sunday, choir practice, Sunday school and Bible camp, but right now at this crucial moment all I remember from those 18 years of lessons is how to prepare for a nuclear attack, dive under the pew and bury your head in your hands. What was Reverend Ryerson’s lesson about dying, about how to die, I don’t remember, we go to heaven, I recollect, but how does it work? I had college courses but I am not an expert in religious doctrine, like the arrogant professor.

If I were God everyone would live forever, that was a game we used to play: what you would do if you were God, but I remember now, it isn’t true and I didn’t say that. Living forever wasn’t part of my personal God world, I made the same inane comments as everyone else, end world hunger, stop children from suffering, no more wars. Mary Jane Thomas made the comment about living forever but there were so many objections to it, you would get bored, no need to make babies. We made fun of her, she was the only person I knew who had three first names and one of them was a boy’s name.

I did say, “That must be why God allows children to suffer, because he’s bored, he’s been up there so long and seen so many babies, and so many people come and go that he’s just bored; it doesn’t mean anything to him anymore, people slaughtered, no big deal, I’ll just make some more.” I heard my mother’s best friend talking about that idea and it appealed to me so I borrowed it; that made Mrs. Thomas very mad. She said I was a Religious Heathen for talking about God that way and I was embarrassed much like in my freshman religious studies class. That’s why I thought an inconsiderate buffoon was the same thing, both terms embarrassed me.

I’m hallucinating, these things happened over 50 years ago. I should open my eyes, but they hurt, I should see where I am, floating is no problem, thinking is counterproductive so I won’t think.

But this is all wrong, not the way I’m going to die, I just know it. It’s all a big lie, I’ve been swimming here before, how can this be happening? Betrayal, that’s what I feel, like when you learn that your mother isn’t all powerful, or all knowing, and in fact, she lied to you about certain things; Biff Noonan telling me that there is no Santa, and laughing when I expressed dismay; I felt betrayed when I went to Mother asking for the truth but I could see it in her eyes, so my seven year old world was re-arranged again.

Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone, that’s a known saying right there, impossible to argue against. Double down on all my problems on shore and I would still take it over this.

I’ve got to see where I am, keep my head up, wait, I see someone on shore, “Help, help me,” I shout as loud as I can and I wave my arms like crazy, “Help, please” oh no, it’s the hat salesman. He has about 10 hats piled on his head, he looks like a deformed cowboy, a long necked vaquero seeking disoriented cattle on a deserted beach. I am in that absurd Marquis de Sade play, I’m the star. (to be continued)

Deadline Extended for Stories Through The Ages College Edition 2018

We have extended the deadline for submissions to Stories Through The Ages College Edition 2018. The final day for submissions is now March 24th.

In order to proceed we need more entries.  We really want to give away the prizes and publish the book. Please tell any college students you know about the contest.

1st place entry $500
2nd place entry $200
3rd place entry $100


A minimum of the top 15 entries will be featured in the book.


College Students your final essay for an English or Literature class makes a great submission. 

Submission fees will be returned, starting March 25, if the contest does not go forward.

The Stories Through The Ages College Edition 2018” deadline is end of day March 15.

The Stories Through The Ages – College Edition contest is in danger of being canceled because we have not received enough entries to go forward. Last year we published “Stories Through The Ages College Edition 2017” and “Stories Through The Ages Baby Boomers Plus 2017”. We got a lot of great stories and we are very proud of the books resulting from these contests. They are both available on our website as well as Amazon.

There is no prompt for the contest, stories may be about any topic. The word count is 1500 – 4000 words. Many of the stories we received last year were what students turned in as their final papers for class.

A minimum of the top fifteen finalists will be published in the 2018 edition of our book.
Also:
• 1st place winner will receive $500.00
• 2nd place $200.00
• 3rd place $100.00.

This is a great opportunity for current college students to have their short story published as well as win cash prizes. Additional information can be found on our website at: www.livingspringspublishers.com/.

February Newsletter

Let’s get started on your Legacy book!

We added a Legacy page to our website. Fill out the form, or just email us and let us know what your Legacy book will be. We will see how we can help.

Stories Through The Ages

Submissions are open for College Edition 2018 (deadline March 15) and Baby Boomers Plus 2018 (deadline June 15). Get your submissions in early. Generations XYZ – let us know if you are interested in a contest.

Dan's Blog

Writing your own story is probably the single most effective way to leave a legacy. For some people others will write about their achievements, but for most of us we need to do our own writing. Rather than leaving your personal history within the memories of your loved ones why not write them down for your heirs to read about in the far future. Living Springs Publishers can help you create a high-quality legacy book that makes it possible to pass on your philosophies, thoughts and achievements. Using photographs along with the stories makes these books exceptional.
 
Recently we found a scrapbook with our father’s World War II notes and pictures. Our father, Henry, died in a car accident in 1953 so the finding of this piece of his past helped us answer many questions that had plagued us for years. He never spoke to anyone about the time he spent in the military. Of course, at that time my brothers, sisters and I were too young to understand the significance of fighting a war. Through these notes we have been able to piece together the battles he fought. He was in the Battle of the Bulge, Battle for Remagan and helped destroy and put to an end several of the Nazi concentration camps. His leaving behind the scrapbook is priceless. Our father was only twenty-two years of age when he wrote the notes but it would have been wonderful had he added some of his principles, philosophies and stories to the scrapbook.

We recently created a legacy book for our father. It has been a great gift to all of us including his grandchildren and great grandchildren.   
Writing your own legacy is the best way to be heard and have your point of view acknowledged. There are many different ways to pass on your legacy in writing. Lets start talking about what you want to do. 

Next time we will explore some of the possible ways to write a legacy book.
Legacy writing can be something you share that came straight from your imagination, like Dan’s book “The Toastmaster”, or it can be a story based on fact, that you embellish a bit.
Henry’s book “What Is A Hero?” is a good example of this. The stories in the book are all based on fact, but he doesn’t always stick to the facts. Both stories can be considered legacy writing as they will both be passed down through the generations of their families.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Henry often uses short stories and humor to share serious events in a way that doesn’t alarm family and friends.
In the next three editions we will share a story he wrote about an actual event. He used the short story as his way of telling us what happened.
UNDERTOAD
     by Henry E. Peavler

This morning, I made a cup of a cup of coffee and read the paper. Nothing unusual in that routine. I’ve been reading the paper and having a cup of coffee every morning for 65 years.  In my youth, I would sit with mother and sip her coffee while she read the paper. We read two newspapers then, one in the morning and one in the evening, Rocky Mountain News and Denver Post. I delivered them for years.  I read the paper online now, not the same thing but even that disloyal habit has become common although somewhat unwieldy when I have to lug the laptop to a coffee shop.

Why am I reflecting on these matters?  I’ll tell you why. It’s because I am about to die.

It doesn’t seem right that I’ll die today. I’m a Cancer survivor, to die now after surviving lymphoma isn’t fair.  Hell, I know things, I met Ken Kesey for God’s sake. I’m one of the few people in the world who has actually read and even partially understood Finnegan’s Wake; not a talent particularly worthwhile but not one to be wasted.  It would be a shame to die now with no one even aware of my special gifts.  I mention this because part of James Joyce’s plot and imagery is about rivers and I am in a river of shit right now. It’s the California portion of the North Equatorial current, I think. A river in the ocean. How do I justify this Joycean reference?  Because I have discovered that my mind tends to wander in irrelevant directions when faced with impending death.

I’ve always been considered a little odd, growing up in a small, ultra-conservative community where conformity was a virtue, sports and hunting, drinking beer and rebuilding engines the norm; I was perceived as peculiar, a hazy-minded day-dreamer who spent hours reading.

In retrospect I never should have gone into the water, there was no one else swimming and very few people even on the beach.  I took my wallet from my pocket, placed it in my shoe and told Larry and Diane I was going to cool off.  It was 100 degrees in the shade and we had been walking up and down the sizzling streets of El Quelite visiting shops, having fun, observing the small town and its colorful inhabitants. A dip in the ocean seemed logical.

I may have been giddy early on before the realization that I would die. Panic occurs in that moment between experiencing life normally and the rude recognition that the irrevocable purchase of death has been receipted.  Not a quick death, in this case, but one where there’s time to draw buried memories to the surface of consciousness, slowly developing a suggestion of imminent disaster and then fully incorporating the reality.

I began to sense that something was wrong, and yet, the feeling of terror didn’t occur immediately. There was a period of analysis, of dawning, like a curtain going up to expectations of a kindergarten play but the scene onstage is from the Marquis De Sade.  Not giggly nervous children but grotesque creatures with faces contorted in agony, their bodies twisted into demonic shapes.  I first rejected the concept like a business proposal to a conservative committee; nope, I’m not interested, this isn’t happening, it can’t be, but then, the ugly truth takes time to congeal, to form like pudding in a mold.

Earlier, I was basking in the sun, enjoying the beach, gazing at the sky. It was a hot humid day and I wasn’t paying attention to the current.  The waves were rough but mainly a nuisance, mostly I was remembering the beautiful lady that I’d met in El Quelite.

What was her name?  Anna something, refined yet funny and she spoke English well, much better than my Spanish, maybe I can see her again. She said that she lives and works in Mazatlán during the Tourist season. Maybe I’ll go by her curio shop; I know where it is.

But I can’t, not yet, because I have to resolve this issue.  Be positive, don’t think of it as a problem, it’s an objection to overcome, I’m not in a crisis; I have an opportunity to succeed, regardless of how bleak it looks.  Swim hard for shore, I’m not that far out, swim hard, harder, but it’s useless.  What in the world is wrong with me, I’m a good swimmer, why can’t I get out of this current?

Suddenly I panic.  Bile heaves into my throat and mouth and I flail like an angry child denied a sugar candy; thrashing and churning like a wild man in an outnumbered fight, only my beating is administered by the lashing of the waves and the realization that I am going to die. A wretched sinking feeling of agony and fear grips me. Then a heavy wave washes over tumbling in a spin cycle. I can’t tell the beach from the sea, my ass from my ankle.  I gasp for air, gagging, and salt water pours from my nose.  This is complete terror, my god, the horror, I really am going to drown; please tell me it isn’t happening.   Try to touch the bottom, No! Keep your head up, surely there’s someone on the beach who can see me, someone who can hear me. But there isn’t, I’m alone.

Stay calm, tread water, panic is what leads to death.  The waves wash over me, filling my mouth and nose, this is unbearable. I feel like screaming because this is all so unnecessary. I shouldn’t be drowning. I just wanted to cool off. Surely there must be someone on shore, I wave and yell, “Help me, help, please” but there is no one and my voice is drowned by the surf pounding.  At least I’m far enough removed from the shore that the waves aren’t as severe, I can turn over and float, try to avoid panic.

What was that story about the little girl whose Daddy told her to be careful of the undertow, but she thought that he said under toad.  So she was afraid of a giant frog in the water that was waiting for her like a boogie man under her bed.  She imagined that it would shoot its long tongue out and grab her like an insect, so she wouldn’t go near the water for years after; I wish I wouldn’t have because now the under toad has me.  (to be continued)

Stories Through The Ages

We have extended the deadline for  Stories Through the Ages – College Edition 2018. The deadline is now March 15, 2018.

The College Edition is open to any person enrolled at a Nationally Accredited United States college or university at the time of submission. The deadline for submissions is March 15, 2018. The entry fee is $25. The word count for this contest is 1500 – 4000 words.

The Baby Boomers Plus edition is open to anyone who was born 1964 or earlier. The deadline for submissions is June 15, 2018. The entry fee is $25. The word count for this contest is 700 – 4000 words.

The Generations XYZ edition is for anyone who was born 1965 – 1996. Please let us know if you are interested in this contest. If we get enough interest we will open submissions.

There is no prompt for the contests, stories may be about any topic. We will have a minimum of 15 finalists. For each contest the story from the finalists will be included in a book published by Living Springs Publishers LLP. In addition first, second and third place finalists receive cash prizes of $500, $200 and $100 respectively.

December update

Things have been pretty quiet at Living Springs Publishers since releasing “Stories Through The Ages – Baby Boomers 2017”. We have been busy creating a legacy book of our fathers World War II experience. We recently discovered he was in the 99th Infantry – the Checkerboarders – and fought in the Battle of the Bulge, Battle for Remagan and liberation of concentration camps in bringing the horror of Nazi Germany to an end. He earned a Distinguished Service Medal and three bronze stars, among others.

The information we found was on the verge of being lost to our family forever. All of the people who knew about his service are dead. We happened across a small box containing things he brought back from the war. It has taken a couple years and a lot of researching to piece together his service. Most of his records were lost in a fire at the National Archives.

We cannot stress enough how important it is to get your family history down while you can. Share your life in a story, label your pictures, interview an elderly relative. Do something so the next generations will know their roots.

What we are working on:
 • We are accepting submissions for Stories Through the Ages – College Edition 2018.
 • We are accepting submissions for Stories Through the Ages – Baby Boomers 2018.
 • We would love to go forward with Stories Through the Ages – Generations XYZ – contact us if you are interested.
 • We are still working out details for our legacy book offerings – please let us know what services you would like to have us provide.

Meeting at the generational crossroads by Henry Peavler

One of the joys of life is to listen to young people and, because pretty much everyone is younger than me now, I don’t have any trouble finding someone to talk to. In case you aren’t aware of it, people of variant ages think differently about things. Take for example running. Five and six year old people run all the time, everywhere, but I don’t run at all anymore. I think about it sometimes. Running off into the wind would be fun, sprinting up a tropical beach, idyllic, and there are 70 year old people who still run, but I can’t.

We see for ourselves the difference between the age of information and the age of technology. People raised with a phone, computer, iPad or tablet in hand tend to experience the world with their heads down and any glimpse of a tree or brook or mountain is accidental. Life viewed through a device is different than the actual firsthand experience of a thing.

Let’s pretend that you find yourself in Cawker City, Kansas, you might say to your grandchild, “Look, there, Milo, that’s the world’s largest ball of twine–right there before our very eyes–ain’t that a sight to see?” and Milo will answer, without even looking up to see the real, actual ball of twine itself, “Yeah, Gramps, their website says that it weighs 20,000 pounds and they add twine to it each year. Can we get McDonalds?”

Or what if you find yourself in San Antonio, Texas in front of Barney Smith’s Toilet Seat Art Museum and you say, “Sarah Jean, we may never come this way again. I don’t know how many more years I’ve got and I don’t want to miss this.” Well, you know that Sarah Jean has already pulled up the website and seen enough of Harry’s art work that she’s satisfied that nothing can be gained by seeing it in person and she says, “Grandpa, it’s just a bunch of toilet seats that he painted. How boring is that? Let’s go to McDonalds.”

And don’t get me started on concerts. I took my granddaughter and some of her friends to a concert in downtown Austin and they went in by themselves to see a person who had never made a record or album or recording of any kind. He became famous through videos of himself that he put on YouTube. He had gone viral. I was mighty fearful that the girls would catch it if I left them there alone but I did it because those were my instructions from their parents who ‘monitored’ them through an App on their own device from the safety of their home.

I want to make a lot of money so I need to figure out how to go viral. I asked my granddaughter how to do it. She laughed at me because I don’t even have YouTube or Facebook or Twitter or Snapchat and several other things that are necessary to going viral. She said I should stick with visiting places like Barney Smith’s Toilet Seat Art Museum or the world’s largest ball of twine. I asked her if she wanted to go with me to see the Harry Truman Presidential Library in Independence, Missouri and as a special added attraction we could stop by Leila’s Hair Museum which isn’t far away. Two top-notch attractions for the price of one. She answered that she could tell from the website they were boring.

I guess I’ll go by myself. Maybe I’ll have time to catch the Salt and Pepper Museum in Gatlinburg, Tennessee on the way back.